Archive for January, 2011

Egg frying PSA…

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

Yesterday my production guy, Chris and I were taking about eating and how far a hundred bucks a month can go. My thoughts on this were, Pretty damn far, so long as your willing to cook. We spoke about making bread, or buying flour, salt and yeast. Also about the food value of things like beans, lentils, rice, etc. In fact, you can eat really well on those staples. In keeping with that theme, I’m going to impart some of my limited knowledge of cookery, starting with how to fry an egg in a non-teflon coated skillet. (teflon pans are needlessly expensive, aluminium skillets are cheap and plentiful at restaurant stores and way better for cooking.) Understanding how the process works is pretty cool and gratifying. So here we go:

First, heat up the skillet (check that, first invest in a good aluminium skillet. They are cheap and plentiful at kitchen supply stores) And I mean really heat it up. You should see wisps of smoke curling up the sides of the skillet. (Needless to say, you have to pay attention to what your doing.)

Second:
Once it is smoking hot, remove it from the heat.

Third:
Pour a liberal amount of oil into the pan.

Fourth:
Swoosh it around to coat the sides. (this is an important step to facilitate a wee bit of coolness later on.) Once again, heat the hell out of it until you see wisp of smoke coming off the oil. (PLEASE pay attention to this step, oil and grease fires suck)

Fifth:
Pour the excess hot oil out.

Sixth:
Put it back on the heat then put a good hunk of butter in the pan. Swoosh it around the sides thoroughly coat the surface of the pan. You are now ready to fry eggs! And they won’t stick to the skillet!

See how awesome those look?! Because they won’t stick, you can impress your friends by flipping the eggs in the pan without a spatula. After you are done, just use a paper towel to wipe out the pan, that way it will stay “seasoned” for next time. All you will need to do is butter it.

Best of…

Thursday, January 13th, 2011

I’ve finally gotten around to declaring the best movie of 1974…the winner is…


Blazing Saddles!
What a great movie.

Best letter to a established artist’s agent:

Dear Aspiring Artist:

Here is my advice. Think of it as a five-year plan:

Take whatever courses you find the most interesting.

Study closely the work of the Old Masters.

Stop making art that originates only from your own imagination.

Stay with one technique until you perfect it.

On any given day, always be in the middle of reading a book. When you finish one, start the next. Fiction, nonfiction, biographies, autobiographies, history, science, psychology, or how to build a kite. Anything but go easy on the comic books.

Buy and read the first 6 pages of newspaper every day and also the editorial commentaries. Skip the entertainment section. Su Doku is fine. Do the crossword puzzle.

Fill up a sketchbook every month with pen or pencil drawings of the world around you, not from your imagination.

Buy a book on figure drawing. It’s the only art book you will ever need.

Until you can draw an accurate portrait of someone, you don’t know how to draw.

Stay away from the airbrush. You’ll never master it, hardly anyone ever has.

Visit every museum in your city. Often, until you have seen everything in it. Every kind of museum. Not only the art museums but, of course, those as well.

Forget about contemporary art by living artists, at least for the next few years.

Stay away from most art galleries. Go to art auctions. That’s where the real action is.

Learn to play chess.

Take a business course.

Talk to you mother or father at least once a week.

Stop going to the movies until you have rented and seen every film on this list.

Do not watch television unless it’s the news or documentaries.

Do not use an Ipod.

No video games, either.

Learn a foreign language.

Learn to cook.

Spend 8 hours in a hospital emergency room.

Save up money so you can travel to a foreign country within the next five years.

Do not litter.

Avoid politically correct people.

Vote in every election or never dare to utter a political opinion. You are not entitled to one.

Buy a digital camera and take photos every day.
If you see nothing interesting to photograph, you will never be a good artist. Keep only one photo of every ten you take. Delete the rest. It will force you to learn how to edit the garbage from your life, to make choices, to recognize what has real value and what is superficial.

Visit an old age home.

Listen to classical music and jazz. If you are unable to appreciate it at least as much as contemporary music, you lack the sensitivity to develop into an artist of any real depth.

Go to the ballet. Classical or Modern, it doesn’t matter. It will teach you to appreciate physical grace and the relationship between sound and movement.

Wake up every morning no later than 8 AM, regardless of what time you went to sleep.

Learn to play a musical instrument.

Learn to swim.

Keep your word.

Never explain your art. People who ask you to do so are idiots.

Never explain yourself. Better yet, never do anything that will, later, require you to explain yourself or to say you’re sorry.

Always use spell check.

Stop aspiring and start doing.

This will keep you very busy but it can’t be helped.
In my opinion, this is how you might, possibly, have a shot at becoming a good artist.

Hope this helps,

Les Barany

Best thing:

Best Designer: